As the young mind -insatiable and
self-centered- often ponders on matters which are of little true preoccupation
to it, I often find myself thinking of motherhood (which brings forth unnecessary
consternation, I might add.) After the first few pages of The Awakening the
reader comprehends with clarity how the Southern-Creole late 19th
century society works. The characters in the book are aware, too, of the ways
in which society (the machine) works. There is order. The point of rupture in
the story comes when character Edna Pontellier questions and wishes no longer
to be another piece in the apparatus. She encounters conflict as in every
situation where there is alteration to the norm. Somehow, Edna knew what she
was getting into. Somehow, she expected adversity and did so courageously. But
what happens when you live in a society without order, exempt of expectation, unbearably
uncertain?
The modern woman (and here I make a very
bold generalization) has no more a definite role in society. It is true that sexism,
along with racism, anti-Semitism, xenophobia, regionalism, and other thousand
types of irrational hate persist in humanity, yet somehow hate is no longer as
central to society as in previous years. What is left? The Modern Woman: A
woman with the world at her feet, her only obstacle being her own initiative. A
woman with a myriad of options for lifestyle. “Success!” One might think. “Finally,
after all those years of struggle, no more external pressures, no more blocks!”
I, the modern woman, nevertheless can’t
help feeling a little lost. My ingratitude somehow translates in confusion, and
my confusion into stillness.
The big difference between Edna Pontellier
and a woman in my position is people expected something from her; there was a
correct path for Edna. Today, success in an infinitely subjective concept. Edna
had it easy. Society had clear, unlabored expectations of her. Today a woman
could be a cook, a lawyer, a doctor, an artisan, an errant, a nun, an artist, a
bum, have children, not have children, adopt, get married, have a divorce, get
married again, not marry at all, be a lesbian, be a man and it would all be ok.
So, when I read a book like The
Awakening and think about how to apply Edna’s teachings in my life, I simply
can’t because I’m not repressed in any way.
Edna Pontelliers do not exist in the 21st
century. Fighting for something requires an obstacle. This is why I felt a
tremendous disappointment upon finishing the book, because I, naively, expected
some kind of awakening for myself. Sadly, (Happily?) today there exists no
place where no woman has swum before. I concluded that the book is obsolete if
one seeks inspiration from it. One might
look at it as cute little window into the past, as one looks at a Neolithic
tool display at a museum and is surprised by the unexpected technological advances from such “primitive”
creatures.
I have this recurring dream where I’m
running and there’s an annoying pebble inside my shoe. It makes running painful
and frustrating. The thing is I knew that, earlier, I had put the pebble inside
my shoe. Is the pebble necessary? Why
does life without the pebble seem empty and aimless?
